"I used to constantly be told "you can't hold down a job" ,"you'll probably lose this one too" and "please hold onto this one this time Amy". Ever since my migraines started they have faced me with some seriously tough times, I seem to constantly be in this continuous circle."
So I would like to touch on a subject I know many people may or may not have experienced... Migraines. Now by migraines I mean those horrible nasty ones that leave you suffering "literally" in silence. Mine started a little under two years ago, although I haven't particularly found a trigger, as many people do - my migraines happen suddenly, unexpectedly and while I sleep.
The pain itself is literally unbearable and there is absolutely nothing I can do, other than lay in my bed in complete darkness and hope for the best! I have been on the same medication for a while and I still haven't seen any progress -even dosing myself on all sorts of pain killers seem to not touch the pains in my head.
Although I am unsure of the cause of my migraines or why I suffer from them. I always feel myself questioning an event that started back when I was just 12 or 13, my mum was diagnosed with liver cancer which obviously as you can imagine was heartbreaking, my mum had half of her liver removed and told she had to start chemotherapy. Unfortunately this was only the beginning of this horrible disease, as my mum has been riddled with cancer all over her body ever since.
A little over two years ago now, my mum was suddenly out of the blue told her cancer has now spread so severely that her cancer is terminal - despite being clear for a while, she was told she would only live for around 11months. I can't begin to explain how this felt and how life changing this was for my entire family because it really has been one horrendous experience to live with...
So anyway we obviously as a family decided to create memories to cherish. I must tell you all that cancer really is so hard to understand because as you're probably already aware everyone's journey is different. However for us we are currently just over 2 years since being told mums cancer is terminal and I'm so proud to say she has exceeded all of the specialists expectations. She is still here fighting stronger than ever and taking each day as it comes!!!
Anyway back to the point of this blog post! While all of the above was going on I was working in an estate agents working as a desktop publisher. I loved this company and all of the girls I was working with but unfortunately for me everything became too much and I became extremely depressed. Although I tried my hardest to work through it and cover my depression up, I found it too difficult so I decided to go to my doctors about seeking some counselling. I worked with a lovely lady named "Trish" who helped me through it. However somewhere in the process of overcoming my depression, working and dealing with the news about my mums cancer, I started to suffer from migraines... Yes back here again those horrible nasty uncontrolled ones I can't seem to shift!
After working with the estates agents for a year and as you can imagine plenty of sick days, they decided "it would be best I left". As heartbroken as I was there really didn't seem to be anything I could do and to be quite honest I simply didn't have the energy to fight against this. Now I am just over a year from then and I am afraid I have to be honest my work history would probably shock a lot of people.
I used to constantly be told "you can't hold down a job" "you'll probably lose this one too" and "please hold onto this one this time Amy". Ever since my migraines started they have faced me with some seriously tough times, I seem to constantly be in this continuous circle. I become employed, work my hardest, do my best despite obviously having to have time off sick due to migraines (any day off will be guaranteed because of a migraine) and of course that company soon decides I have "too many sick days".
I am now sat here two years after my first migraine, in my gorgeous flat that I rent with my absolute world "Cal", we've been here now since December 2015. I spent the week of the 20th September in agonising pain due to a migraine that lasted 8 days... My longest yet!!! I returned back to my most recent workplace as a bridal consultant - I absolutely thrived of this job in a completely new way compared to the estate agents. I loved it unconditionally, I was so proud to be able to help brides find ONE dress for their big day! I loved the fact there was so much for me to learn and research and did all I could to prove myself worthy.
However after returning back to work ready for a new hard working week, I was pulled into the owners office and once again told "I have had too much time off work" (I felt like I was being called a liar about something I have no control over) and shown the door. Only this time I decided I loved my job enough to plea to stay.
Two years of suffering with these migraines and still I appear to be in some vicious circle that doesn't seem to have an ending... All I want is an answer, something to stop these migraines and to be able to live the normal hard working life I desire!! -If anyone has some advice on medication, a cure or some helpful remedies I would be more than greatful and willing to try anything. I just simply want to be able to stop my mum from worrying about me, when she has far more important things to worry about. If one day I look back on life and know my mum couldn't have been prouder of me that's my one and only wish.
Please do feel free to leave me any comments of similar experiences, any necessary feedback regarding my blog and of course thank you for taking the time to read this.
My passion has always been writing, I love to express myself 'thatbridgegirl' features Beauty, Fashion, Fitness and Lifestyle/Personal posts