"Is it sad that at the age of 22, I hate my skin? Is it sad that I get this dreaded feeling when I have to leave the house without make-up? Is it sad that I feel envious of every girl that has that perfectly flawless face?"
I've been realising lately that the hate for the skin on my face is getting worse. I mean to the point of feeling nervous about people seeing me without make-up, including those closest to me. The skin on my face has become my biggest insecurity and one I forever wish I could change.
If you're someone like me, who finds herself scrolling through social media a lot and forever wishing my face could look just half as flawless as some of these girls. If this is you, then you may know how it really truly feels to hate the skin on your face, how you fear of anyone seeing you barefaced for the first time, whether that be a stranger or a close friend.
I find myself constantly in the skincare range at boots or even in the supermarket - when aiming to do a simple little food shop. Looking scanning and praying for that miricle cream that'll get my face to exactly how I wish it would be. Do you do this? Did you find that magical cream? - No course you didn't, does it even exsist?
I've always struggled with problematic skin (or acne as my doctor refered to it as) and it's always been something that gets me down. I find it extremely hard, because my twin sister has that 'perfectly flawless face'. She looks flawless with or without make-up, there's been times when I've said her make-up looks nice and she's replied by simply saying she is wearing non, I instantly feel jealous. Jealous of the skin on her face, jealous of the fact I thought she was wearing make-up, when in reality she is barefaced. I long for that, I long for the day my face feels and looks flawless with or without make-up.
I know you may read this and think it's pathetic, stupid or even just ask yourself 'why is she so hung up?' and the answer to your question, is because the skin on my face makes me uncomfortable, it bothers me and it makes me feel insecure. I know that everyone's skin is different and there may be others out there who have worse skin than mine, which is why I'm here writing about my own skin hoping to connect to you too.
I wish I could say hands down I'm not the only one who feels this, because there's plenty of other people who feel the same as me. Right? Well yes I'd like to think so, but in reality how am I supposed to know when it seems un-talked about? A subject that isn't shared often? Something that us girls may keep to ourselves? (Until now... because here I am, talking about it)
Luckily us girls have this stuff called make-up, my god the power of make-up is unbelieveable at times. - 13 year old girls can easily look 18 from a little contouring, eyeliner and fake eyelashes! The things we can create are amazing, I love the power of make-up! I love that I am able to cover my problematic skin, I mean seriously the confidence boost of make-up is something I adore. Of course it won't make my skin look as flawless as I'd love, but I can't hide the bumps in my skin, I only have the power to take away the redness and use make-up to highlight my better features. But it's something, a way to make an improvement to our face, a way to help us feel a little better about ourselves.
Let's not forget that for guy's hiding there flaws is nearly impossible. They have bad skin? Well that's tough, really and truly. Of course there's a select few that may end up experimenting with there girlfriends concealer... or a few that may feel comfortable wearing make-up regually... but I personally have never come across that myself.
I'll hold my hands up and admit that I am so, so glad I'm a girl and therefore it's socially acceptable to use the power of make-up, because I do not know how I would cope as a guy, with problematic skin. Do they just accept it? Forget about it? or Do they just simply not care about problematic skin?
I find guys always seem pretty damn comfortable and confident in there own skin, it doesn't seem to phase them - or does it? If a guy has problematic skin, is it as much of a big deal to you as it is for a girl? Does it bother you in a similar way? Or does it simply not phase you? I ask this because I've never, until now even thought about this, whenever I've said to myself 'I hate the skin on my face', I've only ever pictured other girls feeling the same, never have I once assumed guys feel the same, which is bad of me right?
I've been to my doctor's countless times about the skin on my face, not once had I felt they truly understood, or even wanted to help me. Until recently I saw a lady doctor, one I'd never seen before. I'd been to the gym beforehand, without make-up on my face - for the first ever time and I hated it! I had a good damn workout despite things, but I felt stupidly self concious.. if anyone looked at me, I could feel my face turn red with embaressment at the thought of people seeing and hating my face, the way I do. I avioded any eye contact at all costs and for me just handing my card over at reception to be scanned in felt unbarable, because I knew if they were to look they'd see the acne on my face.
I got to the doctor's after my workout, sat down in front of my doctor and I could feel that my insides wanted to cry, cry for help, cry for that miricle cream and beg her to make my skin better. She precribed me something that 'should help', but she also said it'll take time or I may find this particular thing doesn't work. She assured me though, that we'll get to the bottom of it and eventually my skin will get better.
So right now, I am applying this stuff twice a day, once before bed and again in the morning. Everyday since I've had this stuff, I find myself over analising my face, every pore, every red mark and I sit there hoping to notice an improvement, so far there hasn't been a single difference but I'm trying to wait patiently. The skin on my face no longer just simply bothers me because of how it looks, but recently it has become extremely SORE, sore to touch, sore when I try to hide it with make-up, just constantly extremely sore - which is why I think now, more than ever I'm even more awear of the skin on my face.
Really and truly when you put yourself against your fears, when you do the one thing you've never done before due to being too scared, the feeling of accumplishment is amazing. I am proud of myself for proving it is okay to be out in public barefaced. That it was okay to go ahead and face my fear, that nothing terrible happened, no one came up to me and pointed at my face calling me disgusting! - I can't say I'm now forever going to be the girl out in public barefaced, because I love the power of make-up, but I can say next time I have one of those days where I can't be bothered to apply make-up just to pop out quickly, I simply will not bother.
Do you feel the way I do about the skin on your face? How do you overcome that anxious feeling? Do you push yourself to face your fears? GUYS - Do you also struggle in a similar way sometimes? Do you have a product that worked wounders for you? Am I sad or pathetic for the way I feel about the skin on my face? Or did you connect with me? Did you relate in some way, shape or form? Does my acne define my beauty? Am I considered as 'ugly' or not 'naturally pretty' because of my problematic skin?
Please leave me any comments, feedback or questions below in the comments (or you can contact me via email of you'd prefere) I love to hear your thoughts or stories, so please always feel free to message me.
As always thank you for taking the time out of your day, to read my blog.
P.s: If you have any products or tips you'd like to reccomend for my skin leave them below, as I love to try new things and put them to the test. Thank you
My passion has always been writing, I love to express myself 'thatbridgegirl' features Beauty, Fashion, Fitness and Lifestyle/Personal posts