"Everything to do with 2016 is now well and truly the past, the only thing we can hold onto are the memories made or events that happened."
Firstly I would like to apologise for my absense, I can't believe I haven't written a post in 15 days! To me that feels like a lifetime, but it's safe to say the Christmas/New Year period has been rather drastic. Either way life happens and sometimes you just can't stop life from happening. I will explain in some more detail a little later, but right now let's get straight into this.
I honestly can not get my head around the fact we are offically 4 days into the New Year, yes 4! For me as usual, this post came to me in the middle of the night while I wanted sleep, however I actually found myself sat up writing in my notepad until 5am.. I seem to find if I can't get my blog off my mind, I have to write it down before I can then attempt again to sleep - crazy I know don't worry it's definetly not my strongest point but I guess that's how it's going to be.
365 days, 8,760 hours to me these two numbers are massive, while I was trying to sleep I could not get these numbers out of my head. I found myself in complete shock that 1 year actually equals to 365 days, 8,760 hours because that's loads!! I sometimes think we take for granted how many days and hours pass in one whole year, but when you really focus on the past year it makes total sense. Everything to do with 2016 is now well and truly the past, the only thing we can hold onto are the memories made or events that happened.
I'm sure and hope that everyone reading this has come to terms with the new year and celebrated in style! Whether go hard in clubs/pubs and get all glamed up drinking and dancing the night away, or have a few chilled proseccos in the comfort of your homes snuggled up in your pj's! As much as I normally love to celebrate the New Year with friends and the ones I love dearly for me, unfortunatley my New Years plans didn't quite go the way I'd have liked - in fact my New Year was pretty horrendous.
Before I start yambering on about my rubbish experience, I'd like to do a little list of my favourite memories from 2016:
1. December 12th 2015 - me and Cal moved into our flat
2. January 5th 2016 - my oldest niece Georgia turned 3
3. January 25th 2016 - mum turned 58
4. February 1st 2016 - my niece Olivia was born
5. March 20th 2016 - I launced my blog
6. October 1st 2016 - me and Cal went on our first holiday together to Turkey
7. Christmas period 2016 - spent some well needed time with family
Of course with my favourite memories there are also a few worst memories:
1. July 2016 - told I am unable to work until my migraines are sorted
2. October 18th 2016 - mums results regarding her cancer has now spread to her pelvic bone
3. New Years Eve - my Aunty Carol past away suddenly at 3.30pm
(I've probably missed out a lot of events in both but I have a memory like a sieve, my bad)
Anyway I would just like to take the time to say, after I wrote my post 'Where it all begain' on December 6th I actually found it helped me a lot. It's hard for me to explain the feeling, but the response I got from that post really meant the world to me. I guess for me knowing so many other people out there in the world can actually relate to my post seriously humbled me and I was actually taken back by how many people actually bothered to message me. 'Where it all begain' also got the most views I've ever had on my blog and that alone seriously motivated me to keep doing what I'm doing and what I love, so thank you.
For me, my mums cancer spreading to her pelvic bone still terrifies me and although I am continously working towards accepting and dealing with it - it's actually a lot easier to say I'm doing that, then actually physically doing so. Sometimes I think I am dealing with everything fine, until someone starts to talk about it with me.. which is when I find myself freak out a little. I know they're only trying to help/give me advice etc but I do sometimes find it's a very hard subject for me and I guess I'm better at writing about it compared to talking - but that's the way I've always been, for instance; I find writing a letter to someone much easier than saying those things aloud, but everyone is different and that's why I created this blog.
My New Years Eve: My Aunty Carol is literally the lovelist woman you'd have ever met and I can assure you anyone who does know her will agree. However she has always been one of those people that always seems to be ill, mainly due to her MS and heart attack she had 29 years ago. Although that's a strange thing to say, it really is true, I've never personally known my Aunty Carol to be 100% well. So when on Boxing day she was addmited to hospital due to a chest infection and pneumonia. I guess I wasn't really thinking this would be serious, because she's always been slightly ill - but I guess no one really did. On New Years Eve my parents went up to the hospital to visit her along with my uncle and cousin. Addenbrooke's have been strict on visitors due to the neuro virus so no one else was aloud to see Aunty Carol. While my parents where visiting I decided I would hit the gym with Calum seeing as I hadn't been in a long time, I did a multipul workout including back, legs and abs. We got back to my parents house at around 4pm, we parked up and off I walked through the living room full of energy from my workout.
I really do wish I hadn't walked through the door at that moment in time because as I walked in I heard the words "Carol died at 3.30pm" and my mum histerically crying down the phone to her sister. To be totally honest I froze before even digesting what she'd said. In complete shock all I could do was shut the door and walk back outside, to which I collasped in Cal's arms. This news ovbiously instantly changed my whole 'New Year vibes' I no longer could even process a new year. The night before I had finally decided on my New Years dress and heels ready to celebrate the evening at my friends house as plannee, of course straight away I had to cancel and I stayed home with my family instead. I still don't think this has sunk in as I still wake up in the morning wishing it isn't true.
Today is January 4th 2017, with great effort I forced myself to write and publish this post. (Of course this wasn't my orgional idea as I expected to have this up and ready for New Years Day - January 1st 2017, but I needed time out to grieve) As it's a new year, I'd like to leave all of 2016's negatives behind me and focus on my next 365 days, 8,760 hours of new memories and goals. I'd hate to leave this post in a negative ending, because that's not what this is about, to me this post is to show sometimes life happens - by that you can have good days, bad days, amazing memories or some memories that has/will change you, but you can't stop that from happening.
It's pretty common that most poeple set themselves new goals or a New Years resolution. Some poeple chose one big goal or a big resolution, that they really have to work towards and some stick to a few small realistic things that are much easier to achieve. For me I like set myself 5 small goals and I make sure these are achieveable and sustainable becuase I want to be able to achieve my goals.
My goals for 2017 are:
1. Wake up happy and apprieciate every single day with my loved ones
2. Take full care of my mum - whatever happens
3. Create happy memories and capture all moments on camera
4. Really focus on my health and fitness - I got close to where I wanted to be in 2016 but this year I want to be even better
5. Seriously push and focus on my blog - I want to finally find a shedule that suits me, bring more and more content to the table and simply improve more and more
I know these 5 goals are all stufff I can and will achieve, I can't wait to put myself to the test. Show myself I am much better than I believe and simply fill my year full of positivity, happy memories and photographs to look back on (one regret from 2016 is not taking enough photos). If your wanting to set yourself goals or resoulutions for the new year, I'd say there's a lot more you need to do other than just saying them, for example, write them down somewhere (your diary/notebook or phone) so you know they're written down and you can tick or cross them off as you go. Another thing that I find helps is making sure you 100% believe that you can achieve/do them to avoid them turnung into failure or negatives - even if you do not manage them, remember you tried your hardest. I hope these tips help you, they way they help me!
Here's to 365 new days, 8,760 new hours, memories and chances! What are your 2017 goals? Have you got something big happening in 2017 that you'd like to share? What was your favouriteor worst memories of 2016? Did my tips help you?
I look forward to hearing from you all as always, thank you for taking the time to read and I wish you all health and happiness in 2017, lets smash 2017 together!
My passion has always been writing, I love to express myself 'thatbridgegirl' features Beauty, Fashion, Fitness and Lifestyle/Personal posts